What fulfils you?
A simple question. Finding the answer - Not so simple.
Why?
It’s subjective.
We have not been asked this question frequently. We have been asked about its alter-ego - what makes you successful?
We have to find the answer ourselves. No book, no other person can search for us.
After finding the answer we don’t know whether it is right :-) We cannot get any external validation of it.
A decade and half back, if someone had asked me this question, I would have said - career graph going upwards, learning, happy & healthy family, maybe a house I call home.
My blessing - I got all of these.
Was I fulfilled? - No. Was I greedy - No.
Fast forward to today - Am I fulfilled? Yes.
Now you might be wondering what changed - I did.
When I see my clients going through the same journey - it reminds me how far I have come.
This post is what I discovered in my journey.
What does it take to find the answer?
1. Curiosity to know oneself at a deeper level:
We all know to be curious about things outside the container called “us”. We hardly spend any time in understanding what does it mean to be you? This understanding gives an indication of what fills your ‘void’. Unless there is curiosity directed inwards - you will find the void (as symptoms - I am not motivated, I procrastinate, I am not good enough, I don’t have enough) but you won’t be able to find what fills it unless you know yourself deeply. Let not conditioning nor other people's view define who you are. Be curious enough to create your own definition.
2. Willingness to do the work/ search for the answer: There are always signals that tell you - you need to do the work. Lack of joy, lack of hold in your life, relationships falling apart, being rejected etc. At least when the signals start the search has to begin. The search takes time, introspection and reflection. Shying away from it only makes symptoms worse. A coach can partner with you in your search so that you are not lonely.
3. Openness for the answer to be different from others:
This is crucial. Most often I find my clients say they have all their survival needs met. They are living a life of comfort. However they are unfulfilled because one of their friends has a better car, better house and what not. While setting stretch goals is welcome, the stretch has to be with reference to where you were yesterday, what can fill the void for you in particular and not in comparison with others. This is because what fulfils you is not the same as what will fulfil your friend.
What does it take to follow your path for fulfilment?
Not comparing your path with others - You are going to be miserable if you do!
Not expecting overnight success & having the courage to hang in there.
Enjoying the journey even though you do not know the destination.
What’s are the first steps you can take to be fulfilled?
Understand what makes your heart sing?
Find out what gives you “flow”?
Give yourself permission to tread the unknown.
Take care of your being - following your path to fulfilment does not mean that you should not take care of your needs first.
Plan to be financially independent - this gives comfort to the more anxious.
Fulfilment need not be rocket science. It can be yours if you wish so!
What small step will you take today to feel fulfilled?