Why Nothing Moves Until You Say It Twice
As a senior leader, your best people have stopped acting on your first ask.
You may not have noticed it till now, because nothing looks wrong. Nobody is rude, nothing is openly refused, and the work does eventually get done. However, it just takes a second mention.
The explicit tells are:
Things move on the second mention, rarely the first.
People ask whether something is a priority more than they used to.
Nobody argues with anything you say.
Your asks get acknowledged warmly and never scheduled.
Your newest people act immediately and your longest-serving people do not.
You may be wondering why this is happening.
It is a rational bet.
A senior leader’s interests can expire in silence.
Nobody announces that last month’s request no longer matters.
It simply stops being mentioned, and six weeks later something else has your attention.
Your team has watched that happen. So they have learned that waiting costs less than dropping everything for something that may not survive the quarter.
The people who wait longest are usually the ones who have been with you longest. They have more data on you than anyone else does.
Its not a performance problem.
The first instinct is to treat it as one. Someone is not taking ownership. Someone needs a word.
Correcting the person makes it worse, because they are responding correctly to the information they have. You will teach them to guess harder, and the guessing is the problem.
If you have come this far, here are some pointers to explore:
Retire your asks out loud: When something you raised stops mattering, say so plainly. “I raised the churn analysis last month. It is not a priority any more. Stop work on it.” This is the single move that changes the pattern, because it is the silence that taught them to wait.
Say when a priority has changed, and why: People can absorb a change of direction. What they cannot absorb is a change of direction that nobody admits to.
Separate what you want explored from what you expect done: You have three registers: - thinking out loud
- a question you want answered
- a decision.
Name which one you are in. “I am thinking out loud, do not action this” is a complete sentence.
Put a number on it when the label is clumsy: “This is a two out of ten for me.” People can prioritise a number. They cannot prioritise a tone.
Confirm the live list on a rhythm: Monthly is enough. This removes the guessing entirely.
Ask what happened to something you raised: “I mentioned churn last week. What did you do with it?” You will be wrong at least once about what you set in motion.
Say which asks you can protect: Some of your priorities move because your own executive moves them. Tell your team which ones you can hold and which ones you cannot. Honesty about that buys more credibility than pretending you control everything.
As a senior leader, your best people have stopped acting on your first ask.
You may not have noticed it till now, because nothing looks wrong. Nobody is rude, nothing is openly refused, and the work does eventually get done. However, it just takes a second mention.
The explicit tells are:
Things move on the second mention, rarely the first.
People ask whether something is a priority more than they used to.
Nobody argues with anything you say.
Your asks get acknowledged warmly and never scheduled.
Your newest people act immediately and your longest-serving people do not.
You may be wondering why this is happening?
It is a rational bet.
A senior leader’s interests can expire in silence.
Nobody announces that last month’s request no longer matters.
It simply stops being mentioned, and six weeks later something else has your attention.
Your team has watched that happen. So they have learned that waiting costs less than dropping everything for something that may not survive the quarter.
The people who wait longest are usually the ones who have been with you longest. They have more data on you than anyone else does.
No, its not a performance problem.
The first instinct is to treat it as one. Someone is not taking ownership. Someone needs a word.
Correcting the person makes it worse, because they are responding correctly to the information they have. You will teach them to guess harder, and the guessing is the problem.
If you have come this far, here are some pointers to explore:
Retire your asks out loud: When something you raised stops mattering, say so plainly. “I raised the churn analysis last month. It is not a priority any more. Stop work on it.” This is the single move that changes the pattern, because it is the silence that taught them to wait.
Say when a priority has changed, and why: People can absorb a change of direction. What they cannot absorb is a change of direction that nobody admits to.
Separate what you want explored from what you expect done: You have three registers: - thinking out loud
- a question you want answered
- a decision.
Name which one you are in. “I am thinking out loud, do not action this” is a complete sentence.
Put a number on it when the label is clumsy: “This is a two out of ten for me.” People can prioritise a number. They cannot prioritise a tone.
Confirm the live list on a rhythm: Monthly is enough. This removes the guessing entirely.
Ask what happened to something you raised: “I mentioned churn last week. What did you do with it?” You will be wrong at least once about what you set in motion.
Say which asks you can protect: Some of your priorities move because your own executive moves them. Tell your team which ones you can hold and which ones you cannot. Honesty about that buys more credibility than pretending you control everything.
As a senior leader, your best people have stopped acting on your first ask.
You may not have noticed it till now, because nothing looks wrong. Nobody is rude, nothing is openly refused, and the work does eventually get done. However, it just takes a second mention.
The explicit tells are:
Things move on the second mention, rarely the first.
People ask whether something is a priority more than they used to.
Nobody argues with anything you say.
Your asks get acknowledged warmly and never scheduled.
Your newest people act immediately and your longest-serving people do not.
You may be wondering why this is happening?
It is a rational bet.
A senior leader’s interests can expire in silence.
Nobody announces that last month’s request no longer matters.
It simply stops being mentioned, and six weeks later something else has your attention.
Your team has watched that happen. So they have learned that waiting costs less than dropping everything for something that may not survive the quarter.
The people who wait longest are usually the ones who have been with you longest. They have more data on you than anyone else does.
No, its not a performance problem.
The first instinct is to treat it as one. Someone is not taking ownership. Someone needs a word.
Correcting the person makes it worse, because they are responding correctly to the information they have. You will teach them to guess harder, and the guessing is the problem.
If you have come this far, here are some pointers to explore:
Retire your asks out loud: When something you raised stops mattering, say so plainly. “I raised the churn analysis last month. It is not a priority any more. Stop work on it.” This is the single move that changes the pattern, because it is the silence that taught them to wait.
Say when a priority has changed, and why: People can absorb a change of direction. What they cannot absorb is a change of direction that nobody admits to.
Separate what you want explored from what you expect done: You have three registers: - thinking out loud
- a question you want answered
- a decision.
Name which one you are in. “I am thinking out loud, do not action this” is a complete sentence.
Put a number on it when the label is clumsy: “This is a two out of ten for me.” People can prioritise a number. They cannot prioritise a tone.
Confirm the live list on a rhythm: Monthly is enough. This removes the guessing entirely.
Ask what happened to something you raised: “I mentioned churn last week. What did you do with it?” You will be wrong at least once about what you set in motion.
Say which asks you can protect: Some of your priorities move because your own executive moves them. Tell your team which ones you can hold and which ones you cannot. Honesty about that buys more credibility than pretending you control everything.
Get the weight back into your words and you only have to say things once.
Reflections:
Of the things you asked for last month, how many moved on the first mention?
What have you raised this quarter that no longer matters, and have you said so?
What is your team working on that you do not remember asking for?
Which of your current priorities can you actually protect, and does your team know which ones?
