Managing conflicts of directs

I am being made a judge, every day, by my directs. Two of them cannot get along on many things. They argue till their wit's end. All of us lose energy in this process. What can we collectively do to conserve our energies?

Competition & Conflicts go together. When multiple people fight for the same place in the organisation, sometimes team meetings can mirror wrestling matches.

The sources of conflicts could be:

• Ego

• Scarce resources

• Context dynamics

• Differential value systems

• Different needs

• Fun/Play

While some amount of conflict is really good for the team's progress, everyday battle grounds rob time and energy out of people.

If you are some one losing this every day battle, here are some reflections for you.

1. Who needs to bell the cat?

Your frustration is acknowledged.

Some questions remain:

• What calls out to you to manage the conflict?

• What does it tell about your need?

• Who is the right person(s) to handle the conflict?

• What systemic problem needs addressing?

• What expectations are unsaid?

2. What are the benefits of the conflict?

If everyone is aware of the conflict and its consequences, why is it still on?

• What is the benefit from the conflict?

• Who is benefitting?

• Who needs attention?

• What needs does the conflict address for the conflicting parties?

3. How do you choose to respond?

Your response is based on who you are and what you value.

• What role did you play in creating the conflict in the first place?

• What systemic structures create the conflict and what do you prefer to do about it?

• What role do you like to play in the resolution?

• If you like to play a role, who do you like to come across as ?

• What is a proportionate response?

• What tough love needs demonstration?

  
  

Your reflection will provide clarity on what you can do as the next step.

If you discover that cross connections - thinking about the same problem/solution with different lenses at the same time by different people is a problem, you can explore using Parallel thinking (Edward Debono) using tools like 6 thinking hats to get different outcomes.

How would you consciously respond to conflicts in your team?

#coaching #executivecoaching #conflict #leadershipcoaching