When a Leader You Invested In Decides to Leave
- Priya Venkatesan
- 14 minutes ago
- 2 min read
They tell you that they are leaving.
The leader you promoted, developed & sponsored. The best one in your team.
They are ready for something you cannot give them here.
And now you're sitting with a feeling that's hard to name.
It feels personal because you invested in their growth.
It triggers doubt whether you did enough.
It raises questions about your retention capability.
When you finish processing those feelings, you come to a realization that you developed someone ready for more. Your goal was never to keep them here forever.
The question now is: how do you let go in a way that honours what you built together?
The endeavour is to preserve the great relationship that you both had and complete a reasonably good transition.
Sounds very graceful, but how does one get there?
Take the time to process your loss
When someone you value leaves, there is a feeling of loss - work, friendship, presence.
Take enough time to intentionally know what you have lost and what it means to you. If this is not done well, there is no question of "grace".
Make the parting pleasantly memorable
There are several ways to burn the relationship bridge. But there is only one way to preserve it - be generous. Celebrate and provide a good reference.
Teaching opportunity
This presents a teaching opportunity for you and learning opportunity for your team on how to let go. Use it well.
Life is more than just partings
Take a long term view. We spend probably 1/3 of our life at work, but there is still life left beyond and above. Look forward.
When you release people gracefully, something shifts.
Your current team sees that you develop people for their growth, not your convenience. That makes them trust you more, not less. That is a great deposit in your leadership account!
Reflections for leaders
When was the last time someone you invested in left? How did you handle it?
Is there a departure you still carry resentment about?
If someone told you tomorrow they were leaving, what would your first instinct be?
This is Part 4 of my Leading Leaders series. Stay tuned for the next.
